Haunted With Colds

Once again, we are haunted by the virus hobgoblin: another cold. This is the second cold for both Katie and me in a little over a fortnight. Katie started showing signs of illness on Sunday; today I have a sore throat. Boo. I just loathe being sick---there's just no time, and I don't like the decreased feelings of productivity.

Katie has been stuffy (unlike her first cold), and so she has been very restless and in need of care through the night. After two nights of moderate-to-no sleep, I now rue that tonight it will be my turn to be stuffy and restless. Will I be rested in time to pull together Kate's party in the exact vision I have for it? Ah, the suspense! No matter, I will make it work. There is never really any rest for mothers, no matter how run-down we sometimes feel.

Anyway, with two colds so close together, our defense systems have been taxed, and I am worried about Katie therefore entering flu season with an overworked immune system. I am looking forward to Katie's 2 year appointment next week, because I want to get her the H1N1 vaccine desperately. We're planning on doing Disneyland this fall/winter, but I won't take her into that crowd if for some reason I can't get ahold of the vaccine. The risk is not worth it. I am not even sure I will be taking her on my Costco run this week.

The good news is that I was able to go to Toastmasters this morning before the sore throat pronounced itself. I served as the Grammarian today, which required some English teacher skills. David also went with us to Toastmasters, and having him there was really fun. The vocab word of the day was "grand guignol," a term I actually did not know---so I was very pleased to have learned it. I have known all of the vocab words so far, so having something new was an exceptional treat. I love to be challenged.

Katie woke up SUPER EARLY this morning, so I made the most of it by doing an early morning reading session with her and then an Autumn, "Let's hunt for Halloween decorations" walk. We collected several fall leaves, the deep reds enticing us. We took great delight in pointing out every pumpkin, witch, ghost, etc. Some houses have done a really fine job, and we had fun together.

Tonight we watched Phantom again. Katie loves to pretend to be him! She was gathering candles around her, playing her piano, and pretending to give me roses. She uses her hand to cover part of her face like a mask. We talk much about his character development, actually, because he is both good and bad. Characters with dual natures fascinate her---the Beast is another example. We are learning that no one is all good or all bad.

I am so impatient with colds! The worst part is knowing that I might have a couple of days ahead of me of lethargy---I want to feel energetic and creative. It's so hard to rest or to feel like resting. Being sick is depressing for me that way. I try not to give in to the cold, but Kate made it look like it might be a miserable one. I am crossing my fingers that I can use my sheer will to drive it away/throw it off quickly.

May everyone else stay well!

I Love My Katie

Katie has seemed to make another mental leap the past few days. All of the music in her has suddenly taken flight... She sings along with me to everything. Today we were eating lunch and I started singing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes," and she sang the words and melody with me. It was so amazing to be singing with my daughter... We have also been singing together to some of the music from our Music Together class.

For the first time, also, she initiates singing when she plays. I spent a couple hours with her this morning after our Sunday pancake breakfast cleaning the upper story. Most of the time she helped me with her sponge and her dust cloth, but she did have some moments when she played on her own, and she started singing "A Ram Sam Sam" from our class.

Then, we were making pumpkin cookies with browned butter icing, and she made up her own song. It had a definite melody:

"Pumpkin soup, where are you?
I want to eat you!"

This has never been a song we have sung.

I loved her freedom to make up some lyrics and a song... When we're on our own, we sing about everything we do. Silly things like "Let us now mix with a spoon/And we'll have our cookies soon." Things like that. ALL THE TIME. In fact, some days I find myself singing to her more than just plain talking. It's more fun to sing everything in life and to try to make up silly rhymes. So I am loving that she is now replicating this...and making up her own songs and rhymes that relate to what we are doing.

It's such an awesome feeling to know that maybe some of our music work has taken root in her mind and heart. Bill and I have set out from the first day of her life to give her music...it is so exciting.

Also, when I was pushing her on the swing tonight, we started doing riffs on "Hello, Everybody." We started singing it and naming as many things in the yard as we could. I would do a line, and then she would do a line, like, "Hello to hummingbird feeder, so glad to see you" (one of hers) or "Hello to plants up high..." (her description of the hanging plants).

I also showed her part of Phantom of the Opera today. Those who know me best know that Phantom was, and still is, an obsession of mine. The first time I ever heard the score, it was seared onto my heart for life. I was at my aunt and uncle's house and their neighbor was playing it and the music drifted over the fence, and I just knew it would be part of me forever.

Anyway, after we watched part of it, Katie pretended to be "Phantom" and said that she liked "candles" and "the piano" and that her house was by a lake. She has been playing her toy piano more lately and sometimes pretends to play piano on other objects. It may be the case that piano will be her choice of instrument, but we'll see what happens in the next year or two. However, regardless of what instrument she eventually gravitates toward, we can't go wrong giving her piano as her base.

So music has been huge for us the past few days!

Also, for the first time tonight, she asked me to sit her over the big toilet by her bath. We have been using the potty chair successfully (for #2's), but she has always shown great fear of the big toilet and not ever wanted me to sit her there. But tonight she initiated it and seemed fine while I held her over! She ended up going #1. Success! I was proud, too, of how long she was able to wait to see if her #2 feelings came back (they didn't). What a big girl!

Finally, all day she has been asking me so nicely for things, "Mommy, please get my sippy." Sure, there have been a couple fussier requests, but she has used the polite way several times today, complete with a "please" and even my name!

So I think she has made another jump. She is so excited for her party this Saturday, by the way. I have the plates and pinata and things sitting out on the dining room table and she loves to look at them and at all the princesses. While she was napping today, I wrapped her presents in Disney princess paper. I am so excited, too! We are counting down the days together... Also, we glittered part of Daddy's trident today...

A fun day with my maturing young two-year-old!

A New Ride

Exciting news! I bought a new car today! The Buick wasn't serving us well anymore, and it was time for something a little roomier and sturdier. So I bought a new 2009 Toyota RAV 4. I am soooooo happy to have a Toyota again, as I always missed my Corolla more than I thought I would. To be in a reliable car is a burden off of my mind. I got to negotiate a bit, and the experience overall was excellent at our local Toyota dealership.

I had been thinking I would get a blue RAV 4, but this morning while I was dressing Katie, I asked her if I should buy a red one or a blue one---and she picked red. I had secretly wanted red in my fantasies, but I thought I should be more conservative. However, when I got to the dealership and saw this one...well, it was magnetism at first sight. Then I tested it, and I just love the way it handles.



I am so excited! This is the first new car I have ever owned. I love how it will represent my next decade or so, my 30s (I turn 30 in a couple of months). It's a "mom" car that can hold strollers, kids, groceries, and Christmas trees. It will probably even last through taking Katie's dorm stuff up to college, since my mileage per year is so low. I love it, love it, love it! I've never really been into cars---either what they are, or what they look like. I've only ever just cared that they transport properly and are safe. But for the first time, I am letting myself take pleasure in a car and realizing that such delight isn't all bad. Yes, I am worried about being too materialistic, but as long as I keep it all in the proper perspective, it's okay. I think the key in life is to take joy out of your things, while realizing that they are all transitory and not essential to the spirit. Our things can be a reflection of who we are, but they don't give us character. I am having fun with this car because I think aspects of it accurately reflect my personality (like wearing clothes), but it doesn't create my personality.

And I am loving the red!!! As long as we're putting the money into it, why not have fun with my fantasy color?

I can't wait to drive it more tomorrow!!!! FUN!

Autumn Craft Day

This afternoon we filled the house with autumn coziness. With a grey sky and chilly air outdoors, we lit some candles indoors and created warmth for body and soul. Katie and I mulled apple cider on the stove as we awaited the arrival of Amie, Boppa, and Uncle David for our Autumn Craft Day!

Katie and I finished making our brioche this morning, working with the dough that had been gently rising in the refridgerator all night. I taught her how to paint the sides of the brioche molds with melted butter, and I would roll the dough and she would drop it into the mold. Then, she used her finger to make the indentation in which to set the traditional teardrop-shaped piece of dough. She is making the indentation into the dough in this picture. When Amie asked her what we had made, Katie replied, "Brioche." Then Amie asked her what was in brioche, and Katie correctly replied, "Eggs." She is right: brioche is quite an yeast egg bread with three eggs and an egg wash on top.

We set the table and lined up some pumpkins and candles nearby. We served: petites brioches, pumpkin bread, maple ham, pumpkin spice butter mixed with cream cheese, aged white cheddar, and homemade apple-onion chutney with a hint of orange. I just love brioche with white cheddar and chutney (of any sort---but apple was in order for today). And to drink, we had hot apple cider, mulled with deliciousness.

Before crafting, we sat down to our snack.

I loved everything about how cozy today was. Dad arrived first and practiced his speech; we had the waterfall trickling outside; the white strand lights were on outside. It was a good-for-the-heart kind of day.

After lunch, we used the salt dough I had made (just flour, salt, and water) to make Halloween ghosts. Katie loved this, because it was just like playing with Play-Doh. Everyone made ghosts and then while they cooked, we all watched Snow White together. After the ghosts were cooked through, we gave them faces with permanent markers and looped thread through the holes we had made in them. Katie and I need to decide where to hang them...

I love my family and spending time with them, and I love how willing they always are to go along with my little made-up holidays and plans! Today definitely felt magical...

Pumpkin Yumminess and October Fun!

Our favorite season continues to offer us simple and lovely abundance! Katie is my Autumn Girl, and I love everything about this time of year! And what a perfect weekend!

We made some pumpkin bread.... YUM!


Katie shows us the ingredients: pumpkin, cinnamon, cloves, baking powder... We have such a friendship and love for learning in the kitchen. Whenever we're in there together, she says, "I want to help! I want to help!" I am letting her experiment with more and more tasks... So what if there is a little mess? Mess can be cleaned up---and the learning is forever.


The pumpkin bread batter was absolutely heavenly. It is difficult to see in this picture, but Katie was actually using TWO spatulas to lick the bowl. The best part of baking is the batter!

On Friday morning, we had our Music Together class in Fallbrook. I was so proud of Katie, for she did not once ask for "pa" or "cozy" (her pacifier or her special blanky) the entire time. She never used to, but the past few weeks, she has seemed to want those items once every class (whether for music or Toddler Time). Just feeling the need for comfort, I guess. To help with that (and because we need to know the songs), I played our Music Together "Fiddle" CD over and over and we look at the book and the music notes together. We sang the songs constantly (we get two CDs with our registration---one for car and one for home, and I copied one onto the iPod so that we could have one upstairs and one downstairs and one in the car). So every song in class was very familiar to Katie, and I think that familiarity helped increase her confidence and comfort. She participated much more than last week, enjoying instruments and dancing especially.

Katie's favorite instrument so far seems to be the little eggs that make noise when you shake them.

Playing with the eggs and getting ready for "Roo, roo, roo, roo/Sing roo/Sing hokey dinkum..."

Katie with her backpack before class begins. We have class at the Fallbrook C.A.S.T. Academy, in the dance studio. It might be a good place for dance lessons eventually...


After class, we did some rehearsal time with Boppa for his first formal Toastmaster's speech on Tuesday. He made such rapid gains in confidence, sense of timing, and memorization in such a short time! While he finished practicing, Katie and I made Amanda's birthday cake!

On Friday we got to celebrate Amanda's 24th birthday with her at our house! We had roasted turkey, stuffing with apples and bacon, creamed corn, and mashed potatoes... Fall birthdays are so much fun to plan menus for, that's for sure! Hayden is sooooo close to walking, and Katie had fun watching him explore our family room. The next day, she pretended to be Hayden ("I'm Hayden") and went around repeating many things he did.

On Saturday, we went with Amie to the Peltzer Pumpkin Patch again. Part of me really wants to take Katie to Bates' Nut Farm, because that is where my brother and I went every year when we were growing up... but the Peltzer Pumpkin Patch is quickly becoming the source for happy memories with Katie.

Amie and Katie petted the goats.

We love the pumpkins!!!!

Katie shows "Baby Pumpkin" to "Bumpy Pumpkin." We picked out some pumpkins to take home this time.

Katie ponders the possibility of a pony ride.... I was hoping, and we even took her in the corral to see the pony, but ultimately, she did not want to. Maybe next year. Later, she explained that seeing the ponies made her sad... I wondered if she felt sad because the ponies are tied up? I guess there is no way to know...

So, we took the train ride and had lunch instead and waited for the pig races to start....she thought the pig races were a hoot!

Today, Katie woke up and asked for a "jammies morning." I usually dress us both right away to get the day rolling, but today I said yes, and we spent the first half of the day in our pajamas playing and spending time relaxing together. We made our own version of a pumpkin patch near her Little People Barn. We used all of our mini pumpkins, and then we took our bathtime Piglet and other pig figures and made a pig race. We used Legos to build the train ride... We collected some farm animal figures and made the petting area. Katie and I took her Disney princesses all around our pumpkin patch and Belle rode the train for awhile.

Later, we got dressed and put away laundry and then Amie came over and we made apple oat scones and played outside.

With darkness coming ever earlier, I like to get dinner finished up early and baths early to be cozy by nightfall. Katie helped me to make pizza dough for tomorrow's dinner, as well as brioche dough (which must be started waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in advance of needing it) for tomorrow's Autumn Snack. We're having a mini Autumn Day tomorrow: a salt dough ghost craft and autumn snacktime with Amie, Boppa, and Uncle David. Can't wait!!!

Pumpkin Patch Girl

What a beautiful day at the Pelzter Pumpkin Farm, which is just down the road in wine country!

Katie frolicked amongst the goats! She absolutely loved petting and feeding them and also meeting the bunnies and chicks and ducks and turkeys.

Sitting on the hay bale, revelling in the day...

Right after we parked on the grass and got out of the car, Katie saw what awaited and started running and making sounds of delight!

Beautiful little Autumn Girl.

Pumpkin love! We ran and laughed and explored all over the field. We also played peekaboo behind the hay bales.

Katie dances in the hay, with the golden afternoon light shining all around.

Gently petting Mr. Goat. I definitely want to return with her---she seemed to light up inside with the animals.

Katie and a goat.

Happiness!!!!!

Peekaboo with the pumpkin cut-out!!! The farm was so cute: scarecrows and ghosts and all kinds of autumnal decorations.

Playing with the hay....

We love the pumpkin patch!!!

Hello, Mr. Goat, I am Katie June!

Katie wanted to feed the goats, and the goats wanted to be fed.

Baa-aa--aa....

Strong and beautiful and full of light!

Good morning on our front lawn, amid the fall leaves.

Pondering her next move... Mr. Goat checks out the food dispenser.

My little cowgirl farm girl.

After the pumpkin patch, we made a stop at home for lunch and then headed to the library. Katie is napping now, while I write this and watch Waitress. Waitress is one of my favorite films, especially since it was one of the first ones I saw while holding Katie after she was first born. That film always reminds me of that most special time...

When Katie wakes up, I think we will make some pumpkin bread...

The Turn of the Leaf

It has been a very, very long time since I have given a formal, prepared, performative speech; teaching was informal public speaking. I did write and memorize a short speech for Connie Cutler's retirement events, but even that kind of speech is different from a very formal type of speech.

So naturally I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins this morning as I headed to Toastmasters for my first prepared speech: The Icebreaker.

I have three main goals for my membership in Toastmasters: 1) learn to be more extemporaneously humorous; 2) learn how to control my nerves and be more in the moment with confidence; and 3) live fearlessly with an openness to those around me, acknowledging all that I might learn from this group of people.

I find Toastmasters to be a perfect group of people in which to push myself and to learn. Many of the members are veterans; many of them trade puns and jokes on the fly. They are fast thinkers, eloquent speakers. And so professional: I have loved discovering what my fellow members are involved in outside of this group. There is an unspoken code that no one brags about resumes or is there to network superficially. We don't talk about where we went to school or how successful our businesses are---though I have researched some of my new friends and many of them are highly successful and some are even published. But we are all there together for an authentic reason: to learn and to grow and to push ourselves. We get to know each other personally and genuinely.

So therefore it was very important to me to try to EARN their respect with my first formal speech. They have only heard me speak extemporaneously before: my first impromptu (I think) made me sound a little juvenile, while my second impromptu helped establish better credibility. But the point of the "icebreaker" was to present my set of values, and I was eager for the chance to do this. Each person in that room inspires me to want to be better than I am. Like I do, the other members all believe that no matter how good they are, there is room to improve. I really respect that as a truth. There is always something to work on---if there weren't, what point is there in anything?

Of course, right before my dad and I left this morning, I was thinking to myself a little facetiously, "Why did I sign up for this again?" I mean, the central question is, why bring such nervousness on myself?

I guess the best answer is that I believe, and always have, that if you don't face productive fear, part of you stagnates and dies. If you don't challenge yourself to achieve or to try to be the best you can be at something, then there is very little point in life's journey. If you don't put yourself out of the comfort zone, you will never grow. It doesn't have to be public speaking...but for me, I constantly work on getting out of my head and inner monologue and opening up to people around me.

I love Toastmasters. I love how everyone there stimulates my mind in ways that only that kind of setting can. I think being immersed in that kind of creativity is making me a more creative mother for my daughter at home. I have never felt such a heightened sense of creative power in my life. I so much look forward to Toastmasters every week. Next week I need to bring in the "Thought of the Week" and I am excited.

So my speech, "The Turn of the Leaf,"went well. I know that I could have done a better job of suppressing my nerves, especially in the intro, and I know I kind of stepped forward and back a little too much in the small space when it might have been better to stand still. But I was able to use the speech to honor Grandpa Don---which is what I wanted to do---and to convey my thoughts regarding the source of love, and lasting quality of beauty, and the importance of family. The response seemed good: several people connected to the speech and were crying, and I got encouraging and positive feedback on my feedback forms from the audience. I wanted to leave a piece of my heart in the room, and I think I did. I wanted to explain what can be learned even with loss. I was very honored that I got voted for "Best Speaker" today and received the first place ribbon. At least now I can feel free too experiment more widely with my other assigned speeches and, even if I fail them, hopefully people will remember this speech and not think I am a total boob.

It was a great day, and I am proud that I am making myself do this at this point in my life. We never stop learning, and we should never think we are so great that we can rest on our laurels.

After Toastmasters, I went to pick up my pre-ordered Snow White from the Disney Store, and then the whole fam went out to lunch and frozen yogurt. Katie and I played in our garden and watered all of our new and old flowers.

I think when I look back many many years from now on my life, this autumn is going to be one of the best there ever was. I am trying to press each day close to my heart and to be thankful for time...