There is so much I love in my life: Bill and Kate, our home, the ability to spend time with my family and to raise my daughter according to our values, and the freedom to give her experiences that enrich her and make her well-rounded are just a few broad examples. Bill's income has provided for us in this year that I have been staying at home, and we are comfortable without too much want. I love being with Kate and teaching her. I love our life so much that I want to make sure I can fully protect it. For the first time in my life, I have an absolute fire in my belly to find a way to protect the quality of our lives and her future---forever.
I need to think ahead to a time when I may need to generate some income for us. I often, especially at this time of year, have little twinges of missing teaching and the types of skill and competency it requires. In my dream world, I could teach a course or two a couple of times a week and still have ample time for all of my traditional home duties. Yet the world of high school teaching is all-absorbing, especially with all the English papers and clubs and committees. I know there is not a way right now for me (in my mind) to balance the raising of a young child with the responsibilities of being a teacher who seeks to build mentoring relationships with her students. Therefore returning to teaching full-time at any point in the near future is not an avenue I intend to pursue.
So it is time to reinvent myself and ready myself for a new field. I am almost in the same position as a recent college grad---except, this time, I don't feel pressure and I feel like I have time to think and create myself slowly. With experience and age has come the wisdom that I do not have to follow a linear course and that the best opportunities will happen by being open to new people. For the first time in a long time I have some of my fearlessness restored. There is no fear at reimagining myself---and I have so many more ideas and more confidence than I had right out of college. This has been an exciting time for me as I have been mulling possibilities.
Last week I signed up for three real estate courses (online) with the goal of obtaining my real estate license. My dad, a broker, just incoporated Matics Realty, and I desire to become part of what has been the family business---on both sides of my family.
I have started my first course and LOVE learning all the laws and legal terms---even though the vocab is a HUGE wallop and will require attention to nuance. However, I know I can learn this, and my mind loves the new challenge. My goal is to finish my courses and sit for the Department of Real Estate salesperson license test this year. I am excited because teaching, at heart, is a sales job---and I feel like this is a natural transition.
With the idea of pushing myself, retaining my skills as a public speaker, and trying for self-improvement, I also went with my dad to my first Toastmasters meeting today. I love the adrenaline rush of impromptu speaking, and I want to become a better storyteller. I loved everything about the meeting and think I will officially join. I am eager to practice the prepared speeches, too, and would like (eventually) to work my way to the competitions. Just dressing the part today, feeling the buzz of excitement in my stomach and mind, stepping just outside my comfort zone with a new audience---all these things make me feel competent and fresh and vibrant. I have been feeling more and more that life needs to be lived in complete absence of fear and my larger goal this year is to challenge myself in as many productive ways as possible.
So...this is what I have been up to lately. I am not one (usually) to speak of plans that have not yet come to fruition; I usually wait until I have accomplished something tangible or made a decision to speak about it. I still feel it is relatively soon to speak about my real estate courses given that I have passed just the first chapter and am now on chapter 2, but I also want to share with friends and family my plans because now I know for sure they are in motion.
Now, how will I fit all this in with a 21 month old? It's tricky, but fortunately Bill and Amie can help with watching Kate here and there if I need to study intently---otherwise I can study when she sleeps. I also want to blaze ahead now, before I get pregnant with our second. We aren't preventing that from happening anymore, so now is the time to take my courses and get all set. One of my best friends, Marguerite, is my inspiration here. She finished law school (at Berkeley, no less), studied, and took her finals all with a newborn---whom she was nursing!!! She even took a nursing break during her timed finals and still finished and while she was doing Law Review. Talk about no fear! Totally inspiring...
So this is my life at the moment, and it excites me. I want to grow into the best possible Sarah for my children and for Bill and very importantly, for myself, and I also want to position myself to protect what I love with all the ambition I feel...Nothing in life has ever been more motivating than my daughter is to make sure that I am thinking about the future.