Katie and I had special mother-daughter craft time this morning before Toastmasters. Our home owner's association puts on amazing programs (for free, well, kind of---since we have dues). Today Katie and I went to our clubhouse to make a Christmas holly wreath. We met neighbors and had the most peaceful, heart-happy time. Katie did much of the gluing herself, and she loved sprinkling the glittery snow all over it. When she was done, she really wanted to give it to Amie and Boppa, and even though I love the wreath and actually really, really want it for ourselves, I believe that it is hers to do as she wishes with it. She clearly wants to give beauty and goodness and happiness to others, and I want to foster that in her. So, I am content to visit our wreath from time to time at her grandparents' house.
After the morning craft, Dad and I went to our Toastmasters meeting. The theme of the day was "peace and goodwill" and today's Madam Toastmaster got us thinking about whether or not there ever really can be peace on Earth and the role of goodwill in human nature. I am an optimist but also pragmatic: as long as even one person is willing to resort to verbal or physical violence on this earth, there never will be peace. I learned that in the co-op housing situation long ago in college. As much I wish for a Utopia on this planet, it is a remote dream. It could only really come from every single person respecting one another and being truly pacifist and loving in nature. And we know there are so many people who are definitely not that way. On the other hand, I always believe human beings might be able to grow enough to have a truly peaceful and civilized society at some point in the distant future. As for the role of goodwill, I would probably need to define that term a little more and think more extensively on that. To have true goodwill, it seems one would need to be perfectly devoid of every bad intention. I have to think about it.
Anyway, I was honored by my fellow Toastmasters today with the vote for "Best Evaluator." When I get to evaluate, I am always reminded in my heart of my teacher side. I miss it now and again. I love building people up and giving constructive, heartfelt feedback. Even if I have an improvement (and we are always expected to give some), I love how it feels to be able to deliver that idea for improvement in a way that edifies without tearing down and to watch a speaker feel good about herself and her performance and learning at the end of my oral evaluation. I love engaging with other people's perspectives, whether in essay form or in oral form. I try to let them know that I really paid attention and that they have left me with something that I will continue to ponder, that I am not giving a perfunctory review or critique. Only then can we really engage in true dialogue with one another, and only then is the exchange equal.
After Toastmasters, I had a relaxing lunch with Dad. I love this time, because it is our time to talk. He is wise and measured and reminds me how to bring that out in myself. We tend to react the same way to things that upset us---which is very deeply and permanently---and so he is able to remind me how to focus on the good, compartmentalize what we cannot forget, and move on toward productivity without giving in to all the deep-seated rage we could feel toward injustice. He has a much stronger view with respect to how bad human nature really is. I keep thinking we are all good, despite how often my dad and my husband warn me. Do you, my readers, think human nature is mostly good, mostly bad, or a mix? Is there any way to be truly, truly good? How long do you think we will really be able to coexist on this planet? Sometimes it seems like human beings are advancing, and sometimes it seems like we are really annihilating ourselves.
Which is why, I suppose, that I use this blog as a form of rebellion. I know how many voices are out there that champion joylessness. We have only to look at our television programs for one minute to see how almost all of them trade upon making drama out of human suffering. One reason why I don't watch much TV is that I can't stomach all of that stuff: shows about people manipulating others for gain, or the many talk shows in which people fight and scream. I also read the news everyday from several sources. It's not like I don't know how horrible people can be...
But I also believe, strongly, that we have one chance in this lifetime to leave our expression and impression on the world. I learned in college that I could either become cynical, or I could rebel and absolutely insist upon being a champion of all that is good and beautiful and true in this world. Even if my voice would get drowned out. Even if people would find my insistence on happiness and optimism annoying, I have been committed for many years. My purpose in this life is to be grateful and to report that gratitude. Gratitude without the desire to covet what others accomplish... At the end of college, that was the conclusion I reached. It is the one value that I hope to leave to this world. It is the one value that I think could bring peace to Earth, if we could all obtain its true ideal (and I am not saying I have obtained it, I just aspire to). Just think: a world of people living their lives in humble submission to thankfulness for simply being here. A world of people who are genuinely happy for the achievements of others. When my friends achieve---and all of them are absolute rock stars in the achievement category---my heart truly wants to celebrate. Gratitude and happiness on behalf of others: it is the one metaphysical gift I have in even a modest amount.
So I spend my words on being thankful. I spend my time on what I deem good. I try very hard to keep my heart and mind trained on love, even when I don't ever forget that there is sorrow in the world and those who would seek to plunder goodness rather than to edify it.
I want to surround Katie in this philosophy. We sing, we dance, we fill our hearts. We search for the magic, we try to "Turn our eyes away from worthless things." I am not perfect in always enacting this, and sometimes I am a very "worthless thing" myself. I seek constant improvement of my character.
So, to the magic...
Katie and I made gingerbread cookie dough a few days ago, and tonight after our bath routine, we rolled it and cut out gingerbread men!
Katie helps to make the gingerbread dough (in her gingerbread man themed outfit)...
A new Christmas tradition: making gingerbread men together...
Sampling a gingerbread man! Good-hearted Katie then wanted to put him into our cookie jar, explaining, "I want to give this one to Santa." Sweetie pie! She has been thinking about leaving him cookies for weeks! What a good heart, especially since Katie LOVED sampling the gingerbread dough---she loves the spice.So much beauty in the world... Never forget how much there can be...
